Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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