You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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