come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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