At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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