I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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