Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
