On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
