1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i was in the wii world.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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