tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
