she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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