but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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