Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
