She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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