Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
