I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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