Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
