Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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