I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
a search helicopter?!
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
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