I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
