God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
