i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I didn't notice because vodka
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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