Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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