Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
