Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
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