I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
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I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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