Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
It was confusing and full of hummus
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No subtext here. People are naked.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
