Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
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