My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
