why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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