i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
