I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize