Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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