Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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