hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
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It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
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I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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