i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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