Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
