i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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