i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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