i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
