Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We talked him into tasing himself.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
