I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
