sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
