I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
