im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
