OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
