I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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