New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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