This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Even my vagina gasped.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
