glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
