why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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