Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Small penises have feelings too.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
