I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
