careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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