My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
