He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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