i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
