my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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