Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
