just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
