To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
