I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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