its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
