idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
