I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
