that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
