your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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