and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
