At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
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