What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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