I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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