you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
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We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
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It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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