Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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